All Aboard
by Maraudess
Summary: When Remus Lupin boards Titanic, it's the opportunity of a lifetime. When Sirius boards the ship, it feels like a death sentence, until he discovers everything his life can truly be.
1. The Ship of Dreams

She was gorgeous, to be sure. Long, tomato-red hair flowed in soft curls around her face, intelligent green eyes sparkling out from a surprisingly kind face. Peter, watching from the third-class deck, elbowed Remus in the ribs when he caught his friend staring.

"Sorry," Pete said jovially, "but hands off, mate. That's Lily Evans – she's engaged to Sirius Black, the richest guy on board."

Remus looked up again, just to the left of Lily, and saw Sirius.

And that's when the story began.

XXX

But it really started with a boat.

Sirius scoffed, at first, to James as they boarded the ship.

"It doesn't look any bigger than the _Mauretania_," he sneered.

James pulled his eyes away from Lily long enough to grin at his friend. "You can be blasé about some things, mate, but not about _Titanic_. This is the biggest ship to ever set sail – and we're on its maiden voyage! Come on, you've got to think that's exciting."

Sirius shrugged.

"Oh, come on!" Lily pouted, tugging on his arm. "You're not looking forward to this at all? We're going to see America, Sirius, America!"

"What's wrong with England?" Sirius grumbled, yanking away from her grasp. "I was plenty happy here."

Lily huffed in frustration and turned to James. "You're his friend. Talk some sense into him. He doesn't see what an amazing adventure this will be!"

"Right. An adventure," Sirius snorted. "More like a death trap."

And that's when he glanced down.

He made eye contact with a boy on the third-class deck, below them. There wasn't much to say about this boy, really – tall, skinny, sandy brown hair hanging in his face, and threadbare clothes – but when their eyes met, he grinned at Sirius and bit his lip like they were long-lost friends sharing a secret, or more. Sirius blinked and raised a hand to wave, cautiously. Lily turned sharply.

"Who are you waving to?" she asked. Sirius didn't reply. "James, who was he waving to?"

"It was no one, Lily," James said, jovially taking her arm. "Come on, let's see our rooms, shall we? Sirius?"

"Right." Sirius tore his eyes away from the boy waving to him from the lower deck and followed his fiancé and his best friend to their rooms.

XXX

"Why were you waving to Sirius Black?" Peter asked curiously as Remus lowered his hand.

Remus shrugged and grinned even more brightly. "That was Sirius? Blimey, what a good looking bloke. I don't know. He waved first, so I waved back."

"Then I guess the question is, why was Sirius Black waving to a street rat like you?" Peter snorted, elbowing Remus once again. "C'mon. Let's go find our rooms. I can't believe we're here, mate! _Titanic_! Thank God you're so good at poker."

"It's all about luck, mate," Remus said with a grin, tousling his friend's hair and heading towards to interior of the boat. Now, Remus Lupin had never considered himself to be particularly fortunate. He had been orphaned at age fifteen and living on his own ever since, struggling to get through one day to the next, sometimes starving or freezing and wondering how he was going to make it. But he believed in taking life one day at a time, one moment, one second, and currently, he was feeling pretty lucky. He had played poker for higher stakes before, but no prize had ever been worth as much as this – a ticket aboard the _Titanic_, the ship of dreams.

Remus let out a whoop of excitement, grabbing Peter by the arm and dragging in forward. "We're the luckiest sons of bitches in the world, you know that!" he shouted, ready to begin his adventure.

XXX

The room was extravagant, elegant, lovely. Everything Sirius was accustomed to being surrounded by, everything he could have possibly wanted.

It felt like a prison cell.

Lily wrapped her arms around his waist, leaned against his back, and called him darling, but he couldn't stir any emotion to reply. "We're going to dinner now," she said softly. "James is saving us a table."

Sirius wanted to vomit. He nodded stiffly. "I'll be down in a moment."

Lily looked confused. "You want me to leave without you?"

"Yes." Sirius gulped. "No. I mean – sorry. I need some time to – I'll only be a minute."

Baffled, Lily nodded and planted a kiss on his cheek, softly. "Don't get lost," she teased gently, grabbing her bag and floating out the door. The second she was gone, Sirius ran to the bathroom and dry-heaved into the sink, but nothing came up.

Lily was wonderful. She was sweet, smart, unfailingly kind, startlingly beautiful, and quick-witted. James was mad about her, Sirius knew, and she would make a fabulous wife for someone someday. Sirius, however, thought of a future with her and wanted to die.

Sirius and Lily were part of the same social circle – that is, the highest class of wealth in London – in addition to being two of the most attractive of their peers, and so it was inevitable that the two of them would be arranged to be married. Sirius had never taken into account just what that had meant: the balls, the parties, the banquets, the luncheons, a never-ending parade of formalities, stiff tuxedoes, idle chatter from millionaires who wouldn't know a true conversation if it bit them on the nose…it all made Sirius feel sick, and trapped, like he had been placed into a coffin and buried alive.

Sirius didn't realize the entire course of his life was going to change before his time on _Titanic_ was over. All he knew was that in this moment, he would have given anything to have a different life, any other life, or better yet, no life at all.

XXX

On the outside deck, Remus Lupin leaned against the ship's railing into the wind, letting the sun set over his face, knowing nothing of what was to come, thinking only that this was the luckiest he had ever been in his life.


	2. Dinner with Friends

Peter had been feeling a bit seasick that evening, so Remus sat on the stern deck alone under the stars, contemplating his good fortune. He was on his way to America, land of opportunities. He was young, he was healthy, he had his sketchbook and his best friend on board with him, and he was currently smoking an expensive cigarette he had bummed off a wealthy passenger an hour earlier. If his life had continued in just this way, he would have been utterly content. But then, he heard a sort of commotion across the deck and glanced up to see Sirius Black in a full-on sprint towards the edge of the ship.

"Well, this is going to be interesting," Remus muttered, jumping to his feet to see just what this wealthy man was up to.

xXx

James met Sirius just outside the dining room, a pained expression on his face. More than pained – he looked livid, clenching his fists as he sides and sending nasty looks over his shoulder.

"You'll never guess who showed up for dinner," he spat as Sirius drew nearer.

"Who?" Sirius asked without much interest.

"_Snivellus_." James sneered and glanced backwards into the dining room. "And your dear Lily flower has decided to invite him to dinner."

"What?" Sirius's temper immediately flared up. "_Snivellus_? What's he doing on _Titanic_?" Severus Snape, better known as greasy, sniveling Snivellus, was a rival of James and Sirius'. An awkward, bat-like man with hunched shoulders and a long, crooked nose, he had grown up with James and Sirius and was often the butt of many of their crueler pranks. "Can he even afford a ticket with the street rats downstairs?"

"He can when he brings your sniveling brother along for the ride," James huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "Apparently your parents paid for the pair of them to keep an eye on you – make sure you're not upsetting your spotless reputation."

"They sent Regulus here as a spy?" Sirius griped, hands immediately clenching into fists.

"Looks like it. They just want to make sure you're not going to tarnish the Black family name, that's all." James sighed. "Look, Sirius, try to stay calm, okay? Regulus is going to try and push your buttons, and so is Snape, but don't take their bait. They just want to see you blow up."

"They might get their wish," Sirius muttered, storming into the dining room with James following close behind.

Lily was laughing at Snape when the boys made it to the table. She smiled brightly and stood to welcome them. "Sirius! Sev was just telling us the most hilarious story about his last time on a boat – he slipped right off the deck into the water!"

"Wish he'd stayed here," James mumbled as he took his seat across from Lily.

"How fascinating," Sirius drawled in a bored sort of voice. "Do tell us more, _Sev_, we'd love to hear more about your poise and grace."

"Don't be rude, Sirius, it was a funny story," Lily protested, placing a hand on Severus's arm.

"Not as funny as the size of Snape's nose," James whispered to Sirius, who snorted out a laugh.

Lily shot a warning glance towards her fiancé and turned to Snape. "I'm so sorry, Sev. Sirius forgets his manners sometimes; it's something we're trying to work on with him."

"Right," Regulus interjected. "Manners, Sirius. You wouldn't want Mother and Father to hear about your bad behavior, would you?"

"I'm an adult, Reg, I don't need anyone checking in on me." Sirius rolled his eyes and took a sip of wine from the glass in front of him. "Anyway, how'd an ickle baby like you get on board without Mummy and Daddy holding your hand?"

"They trust me more than they trust you, Sirius," Regulus replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I'm here to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don't…ah…" His eyes flickered to Lily, to James and then back to Sirius before continuing, "…_stray_."

Sirius crumpled his napkin beside his plate and snarled, "You keep your sodding mouth shut, Regulus." He had to be bluffing. That was the only explanation. There was no way Regulus – or his parents – knew the truth about Sirius, the nights he spent sneaking out of their house, the shady encounters in alleyways, cheap hotel rooms, the men he…no. It was impossible. That was a secret he would carry to his grave.

But for Regulus to imply Sirius would turn to _James_ for this was laughable, unthinkable. Sirius wanted to grab Regulus and slam his stupid head into the wall for implying _that_. He shoved his chair back harshly, even as Lily's eyes widened and James hissed, "_Sirius_!" He ignored them and took off towards the outer deck of the ship at a brisk walk. He felt hot and dizzy, despite the chilly breeze sweeping over the deck. He couldn't catch his breath. He was panicking. Images of being lowered into the ground in a coffin, still alive, flooded his head, and he took off running.

He looked mad, he knew it. But this wouldn't be the first time he questioned his sanity. Growing up with his parents, with Regulus, had often made him wonder whether he was truly right in the head. Usually James was there for him when he started to feel like he was slipping. But James had his own issues now, loving Lily from afar, and at the moment, Sirius looked utterly alone.

_I am alone_, he thought. _I should be alone. I should just leave this life, leave them behind…they're going to kill me, anyway – they're all mad and this life is going to kill me…_

And it was true, because the more he thought of his impending marriage with Lily, the more he wanted to throw himself off the edge of the boat and never resurface from under the cold, churning waves.

_So why don't you_? a voice in his head sneered as he ran, ran until he reached the railing at the ship's stern. He leaned over as far as he could, gasping, struggling for air that wouldn't reach his lungs. He already felt like he was drowning in the air, so why not do it for real, put an end to everything he hated?

Sirius loosened his tie, tore off his jacket, and removed his watch, tossing it onto the deck of the ship. Some street-rat third class passenger would find it and make some money off of it. What use was it to him anymore? He clung to the railing until his knuckles turned white, anxiously gulping at the brisk night air. He swung one leg over the railing, and then another. He leaned forward, slightly, straightening his arms out behind him, wishing for the strength to just let go.

"Don't do it," a voice from behind him called out. Calmly, casually. Like he was commenting on the mild winds of the night, or the size of the ship.

Sirius turned to see a young man standing a few yards back, smoking a cigarette and observing Sirius with a mild, almost indifferent expression. Sirius recognized him as the third class passenger who had waved to him earlier that afternoon.

"Get back," Sirius snapped. "Don't come any closer."

The other man tilted his head and took a drag from his cigarette. "Let me help you up," he offered.

"No! Go away. I mean it, I'll let go," Sirius warned, hoping to scare the man away.

All he did, however, was chuckle, and toss his cigarette over the railing into the ocean, glancing up at Sirius, entirely unimpressed. "No, you won't."

xXx


	3. Slipped

The second he said it, Remus grinned. Sirius Black, who probably had more money than the Queen of England and yet was dangling off the back of the largest ship to ever set sail, immediately flushed and started spluttering angrily. "What – how – what do you mean no I won't? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do. You don't know me."

"You would have done it already," Remus pointed out. "Now come on, take my hand. I'll help you over."

Sirius stared at Remus, like he couldn't decide whether or not to trust the man. He pushed his hair out of his face with a shaking hand. "You're distracting me," Sirius snapped. "Go away." He spoke in the voice of a man accustomed to having his orders obeyed, but Remus just smiled.

"I can't leave. I'm involved now. If you let go…I'm going to have to jump in after you."

"Don't be absurd," Sirius scoffed. "You'll be killed."

"I'm a good swimmer," Remus countered, already kicking off his shoes.

"The fall alone would kill you," Sirius replied, staring at Remus, who was now pulling off his jacket. He shrugged.

"It would hurt like hell, yeah. I'm not saying it wouldn't. But honestly, I'm a lot more worried about the temperature of the water down there."

Remus watched Sirius glance down, carefully, hesitantly, at the icy, churning water below him. "How cold?" Sirius asked.

Again, Remus shrugged. "Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees over. Water that cold…it hits you like a thousand knives all over your body. You can't breathe, you can't think…at least not about anything but the pain." He shot a small, knowing smile to Sirius. "Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumping in after you. But, you know, I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I? Like I said, I'm involved now. You jump, I jump. So…you should probably climb back over here, now. Let me off the hook."

The other man just stared at him incredulously. "You're crazy."

Remus grinned. "You know, with all due respect, sir…I'm not the one hanging off the back of a boat."

The seriousness of the situation seemed to hit Sirius then, and he swallowed heavily. "Fine. Help me back over," he demanded, and Remus smiled and offered him a hand.

"I'm Remus Lupin, by the way."

Carefully, Sirius grabbed his hand. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Lupin."

Remus grinned wider and helped Sirius over the railing. He nearly made it, too, when his foot slipped on the last rung. He shouted in surprise more than fear, and clutched tightly to Remus's arm.

"I've got you, it's okay. You're fine. I'm not letting go. Come on." Remus continued pulling Sirius over until the man was over the railing; the two collapsed onto the ground, laughing a bit nervously. Sirius glanced up with wide, grateful eyes.

"Thank you."

"It was nothing," Remus said with a shrug. "But here, have your watch back."

He reached for the watch that Sirius had previously discarded, but before he could return it, a sort of commotion approached them from across the deck.

"What's going on?" a female voice called out. "Sirius? Sirius, are you all right? We heard a shout…"

Sirius turned and groaned. Remus followed, and saw what appeared to be nearly half the first-class passengers gathered on the stern deck. Lily Evans, the woman with the lovely red hair, ran forward and threw her arms around Sirius.

"Is everything all right? We went to look for you after you left, and then we heard someone shouting…"

"It's fine," Sirius replied icily, patting Lily on the back. "Nothing happened. I slipped, and Remus here helped me before I could go overboard."

"Klutz," a man with untidy hair and glasses chuckled. "Leave it to you to nearly get yourself killed the first day on deck."

Sirius grinned, but it looked perfunctory to Remus; before he could dwell on this too long, however, Lily stormed up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Hang on!" she cried. "What are you doing with Sirius's watch?"

"Hmm, a Black heirloom," sneered a young man standing nearby who looked similar to Sirius, though not nearly as handsome. "What's this street rat doing with your watch, Sirius?"

"Was he trying to steal your watch?" Lily demanded, and Sirius groaned yet again.

"No. Lily, calm down. I had my watch in my pocket before I slipped, and when Remus pulled me back, it fell out of my pocket. He was just returning it to me. Really."

Lily nodded, eying her fiancé sympathetically. "Come on, Sirius. Let's head back inside; it's _so_ cold out here."

"Hang on!" said the man with the glasses. He took a step towards Remus, grinned, and held out his hand. "James Potter. Thanks for saving this git over here. He gets himself into trouble, sometimes."

"Like you're not with him half the time anyway, Potter," Lily added, rolling her eyes, albeit fondly.

James grinned. "Well, yeah. But thanks for not letting my best mate get killed, all the same. Will you join us for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sure," Remus said quickly, grinning. "It'd be an honor. Pleasure to meet you, James. Remus Lupin."

"Lupin," Sirius's dark-haired relative sneered. "Not a name I've heard recently. Weren't your family some of the gutter-dwellers of London?"

"Until they died, yeah," Remus replied tightly, already not a fan of this rude, arrogant man.

"Shove off, Regulus," Sirius snapped, stepping forward. "Can we all just go inside now, please?"

Most of the first class passengers had already returned to the dining room; Sirius's party began to follow, James trailing closely behind Lily and Sirius hanging back a bit to walk next to Remus. "Thank you, really," he said again, and Remus just smiled.

"Anytime. I get how life can get pretty slippery sometimes."

Sirius smiled gratefully and opened his mouth, but Regulus was suddenly there, right between them, speaking lowly in Sirius's ear, yet loud enough for Remus to overhear.

"Funny how you say you 'slipped,' and yet you were both on the ground surrounded by articles of clothing," he murmured, shooting meaningful glances towards Remus. "Watch his type, Sirius. And watch yourself. You wouldn't want Mother and Father hearing of this, would you?"

"Go to hell, Regulus," Sirius said savagely, and stormed off before Regulus could continue or Remus could think of anything to say at all.

"Have a nice evening, Mr. Lupin," Regulus said in a voice dripping with condescension before following his brother inside. Remus aimed a kick at the railing of the ship before tilting his head back to look at the night sky. "Dinner with the Blacks and Mr. Potter," he muttered. "Well, this should be good."


	4. Drawing

Sirius caught Remus on the third class deck the next day, early in the morning. Remus had been sketching the horizon, the way the sun reflected off the sea, but nothing had really come of his attempts. His fingers itched for something real to draw, something concrete, with skin and bones and lungs to breathe air. He was rubbish at landscapes; it was people he loved, people he wanted to draw, and the one person his mind kept flickering back to was, in fact, Sirius Black.

And then the man himself came strolling down the third class deck, catching a lot of attention from the steerage passengers, who stare with awe or even outright resentment at this well-dressed, devastatingly handsome, obviously wealthy gentleman making his way across their deck. He stopped at Remus and cleared his throat, clearly a bit nervous.

"Hi," Remus offered.

"Right, hello…" Sirius fidgeted with his cufflinks. "Look, can I speak to you in private? Is that all right?"

"Fine by me," Remus replied, and jumped to his feet, leading Sirius farther down the deck, away from the rest of the passengers. "Is this about last night?"

"Well, yes." Sirius flushed and turned to grip the ship's railing, white-knuckled. "I wanted to thank you. Not just for pulling me back to the other side, but for keeping my secret as well."

"Anytime," Remus said immediately, and then – "Well, not anytime, actually. I'd prefer you don't make any more suicide attempts, if you don't mind."

"Right." And here Sirius turned to hold Remus's gaze; his silver eyes burned with an intensity Remus longed to capture on paper. "And look, Mr. Lupin–"

"Remus."

Sirius blinked. "Remus, then. I know what you're thinking – this poor little rich boy, what can he know of misery?"

"Not at all. I was actually just wondering…what could he have gone through, what could have hurt him so badly that he thought he had no other way out?"

Sirius shook his head and turned to look out at the sprawling expanse of ocean before him. "It wasn't any one thing. It was…everything. They're drowning me, Remus…"

"So you decide to try and drown yourself?"

"It's not funny." Sirius glared at Remus. "But, yes. If you're trapped – if you're really just utterly trapped – do you have any other choice, but to just end it all?"

"Yes," Remus replied, "you do have another choice. You choose to escape. You choose to be free."

Sirius just shook his head, laughing. "You make it sound so easy. Some of us don't have that choice."

"There's always a choice–"

"You act as if you know me," Sirius snapped. "You know nothing of my family, of these people–" He broke off suddenly. "This is poor payment for you saving my life."

Remus smirked. "I didn't save your life. I saved your watch from falling overboard."

"And then get accused of robbing me," Sirius added bitterly. "What a world." His gaze dropped suddenly to the sketchbook in Remus's hands. "You draw?"

Remus smiled shyly down at the leather-bound pages he held. "Yeah. A little. I sketch."

"Can I see?" Sirius suddenly looked very intense, his eyes ablaze with fierce interest.

"They're not very good," Remus replied, squinting at the sun over the horizon. "Just sketches, mostly."

"I'm sure they're better than mine," Sirius replied, turning and leaning back against the railing, crossing one ankle over the other, his hands in his pockets.

"You draw too?" Now Remus looked curious, turning his attention away from the water to glance at the other man.

"Sketch, mostly. Not much. Mother and Father used to make me take art lessons when I was younger." Sirius scoffed, shook his head a little. "Boring scenes, mostly. Landscapes, you know, sunrise and sunset. Trees, rocks sometimes. Terribly boring."

"I want to see," Remus said quickly, a challenge in his eyes.

"Maybe later," Sirius replied, and it sounded honest. Not a dismissal, anyway. Remus smiled, and Sirius continued, "And what is it that you draw?"

Remus smirked. "People, mostly. You know. Tall women, beautiful women, naked women. Awfully dull."

Sirius looked startled for a moment, and then grinned. "Well, this I've _got_ to see."

Remus laughed and handed his book over. "Take a look," he offered, and Sirius flipped through, studying the pages before him. His eyes pored over each line, each scratch of pencil on paper. His face betrayed no emotion, but his voice seemed sincere when he said, "Remus, these are exquisite."

"The models were exquisite. I just translated that to paper," Remus replies, brushing off the compliment. Sirius smirks.

"Ah, yes. The models. They are beautiful." He flipped a few more pages and paused, studying one drawing in particular… "So you draw male models, as well?"

This time his voice was calm, but he scrutinized Remus so closely the other man felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Yes," Remus finally replied. "A bit of variety, you know."

Sirius nods, and Remus can't help but add, "And the sex was amazing, afterwards."

For a moment Sirius looks utterly scandalized, and then he laughs, a sharp, barking noise, like that of a dog. "Don't tell me you–"

"Keep it a secret?" Remus begged, grinning, and Sirius just nods, looking disbelieving.

"Well, Mr. Lupin, it appears we have more in common than I imagined."

For a moment, Sirius's silver eyes lock into Remus's gold ones, and then Remus reaches for his drawing book and turns away. "You'd better get back to your own deck and remind yourself how different we are," he said darkly, but offered one last smile to Sirius Black before turning and striding off toward the third class deck.

Sirius calls after him, "Dinner tonight!" before taking Remus's advice and returning to his own deck.


End file.
